Are you Doing the Wrong things trying to Get it Right?

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Written by: Nancy Nichols… | Posted by: WhatTheLove

The burning questions in my heart have always been:

Why do I attract and commit to men who are so wrong for me?

How do some women attract the interest of wonderful men?

Why am I unable to be in a relationship with the right man?

I was in a church recently when the pastor quoted the familiar scripture, “If any of you lack wisdom, ask for it, and it will be given to you.”


I gasped! Suddenly-I realized I had been asking for relationship wisdom all my life. Every time I read a self-improvement book I was asking for insight. Every time I sought advice from a girlfriend or a psychologist I was looking for relationship discernment. Every time I prayed or I went to church I was seeking divine understanding.

Did you know that the answers to your problems, concerns and relationship difficulties are inside you?

As women, I believe we know in our guts the right things to say and do when it comes to men, dating and relationships. Most of it is common sense. We know we’re not supposed to chase a man, blab our dirty laundry, publicly bad-mouth our ex’s, or sleep with a man on the first date. Right?

Why then do we do it?

As women, I contend that we do recognize a man’s unreliable, discourteous and deceitful behavior and suspect him to be a potentially undesirable partner.

Why then do we ignore our intuition, continue to date, fall in love and commit to losers, abusers and con-artists when our internal voice screams, “Run for your life!”

As women, I believe we supernaturally sense when a man is lying, twisting our words (it’s called crazy-making), or unjustly blames or discounts us as a person.

Why then are we unable to stand up to him and confront his wounding behavior?

For thirty years I sought an understanding of men, dating and relationships. The answer I was given was this: logic, intuition and a positive attitude are a woman’s three most powerful relationship resources.

When I learned to base my decisions on evidence, facts and reality, instead of my irrational, unpredictable emotions, my understanding of relationships exploded.

When I began to trust and act upon my intuitive instincts, instead of being influenced by what someone told me, my wisdom blossomed.

And every time I said or did what was in my best interest, not in the interest of holding on to a man, my confidence soared.

The answer to all my relationship problems was this: My security, happiness and worth cannot be found in a man-it is instead, realized within my unique talents, my inner beauty and my extraordinary strength as a woman.

Copyright 2010

Coach Steph Note: This is great advice, and my is that men, as well as women, will heed it. In terms of using logic…I such grabbing my latest book, The Business of Dating and joining me, Coach Steph for my next TBOD class. You’d be amazed at how far logic can get you…perhaps even down that proverbial aisle. (Wink!)

Author: Nancy Nichols
Article Source:
Digital economy, mobile technology