Oops! You did it Again…and Again!

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I cannot help but feel for this young lady…somewhat.  While I am not a fan of her depicting intimate exploits on screen, I am a fan of the person that she is (or portrays herself to be), and hence, why I feel compelled to pen another “Celebrity Love Note.”

The recent issues between Basketball (Non) Wife Royce Reed and latest “boo” Dezmon (no, that’s not a typo) Briscoe, are a bit ridiculous to say the least.  Once again, we have Royce putting her heart, soul and body (in lingerie no less) on the line for someone who claims to love her.  Only for him to turn around and do something that is not only respectful to the relationship that they profess to have, but also to himself.

But, hey, we’ve all been there…without and without the lingerie.

But, where most of us haven’t been is forced to deal with our significant other’s extracurricular “sextivities” (this means he was sending sext messages…get it) with both his child’s mother and some other woman, who has just recently come forward.

Poor Royce.

I have to admit, this seems to be a cycle that she’s in, and I wish her well in her efforts to be happy and whole.  However, let’s get in to this a bit further, because despite the fact that our business wasn’t on TV for the world to see, some of us still have an issue or two in common with Royce (AKA “@RoyceLR” on Twitter).

My Take:
There are few things at work here.  Royce has had some very public relationships, especially as she is the mother of NBA Star Dwight Howard’s son, she has received and maintained some very bright and pretty relentless, and down right mean, limelight.  It seems that in all her relationships, she is ready to be serious.  REAL SERIOUS! She is ready to give everything to some guy in exchange for the words, “I love you.”  And that seems to be the only expectations that she has for him.

Again, we’ve all been there.

If she were my client:
Royce and I need to have a serious discussion about her definition and expectations of love and what she expects from someone who loves her.  What exactly does the term, “love” mean in general, and what is she really looking for.  Acceptance, belonging, someone to want her…what exactly is it?

Royce has to see that she has a rather destructive pattern when it comes to the relationships that we’ve seen on-air.  They all seem to move too fast, and are entirely too intimate.  It’s almost as if she has something to prove by letting this person love her, or by showing the way that she loves them, she is demonstrating some perceived control.

Royce has to know that she is control of her relationships, and how they develop without all the “extra.”  She has to learn to vet her suitors, Dezmon’s sexting exploits are a clear sign that he is not ready to be the man that she and her son need. But, as long as she stays clouded by her “love-colored” glasses, my fear is that she will continue to be on the receiving end of someone’s immature, yet “loving,” actions.

Royce, he’s just not ready….take heed.  For that matter, neither are you.

What we can all learn from this:
As I said before, we all need to vet our suitors–male and female, and decide that someone is worthy of our time, energy, and emotions NOT because they say those three little words, but because they have demonstrated that they are ready for what we’re ready for.

Yes, it’s just that simple.

There will always be Dezmon’s in the world.  And, just because he’s made these mistakes doesn’t mean that he isn’t a good guy.  It does mean that he isn’t ready for a committed relationship.  Well, he might be ready, he’s just not prepared.

Those are two different things.  For example, you could be ready to leave, but until you pack and make travel plans, you are not PREPARED to go anywhere…get it?!

On the other hand, how you can always avoid being a Royce is by taking the time to learn about someone.  And, while you’re learning, keep your goodies to yourself, and your mind focused on deciding if this person meets your expectations.  No judgment on the “goodies” swipe, but it’s just easier to stay objective when you’re not sexing them up.  Seriously.

Just so we’re clear…I wish them both the best…separately.  As a couple, they both lack the ability to build something strong and lasting–at least right now.  Perhaps down the road, their paths will cross again, and they will be ready and prepared, and it will be an awesome and lasting love. And the only person he’ll be sexting is her…as Mrs.Briscoe.

Hey, I’m a hopeless romantic, let me slide…

One more thing: If you know Royce…support her with positivity, this is not the time to make her feel worse.

This word of wisdom brought to you by: #Love100