Give ‘Em a Break!

Posted on by Coach Steph
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Hey folks,

Here’s another installment of making sure all of your relationships are tightened up. Remember these posts will not only give you insight on how to deal with a significant other, but deal with others who are significant (which will in turn help you with your significant other).

Review

So I’ll be brief in my review. Last month I simply made it a point not to be a doormat in dealing with the people in your world. The reason why I said that was when you do this you fall short of the standard necessary to be the best thing anyone’s ever seen. And you ultimately polarize yourself against the “Category #3’ers (see previous post).

Now for this month’s lesson…

What are the dangers of losing Category #3’ers? Let’s be real here. Not even your Category #3’ers are going to be perfect. Sometimes they are not going to meet your expectation levels. Well if it be your significant other, a good friend, or a mentor, you get upset at that. Then you get upset with yourself. Then you get angry at them. Then you just have a whole bunch of angry in your business. But, have you ever stopped to wonder why you were angry? What you were angry at? What was really going on with that person?

If you didn’t even ask these questions, you’re very angry. This is what happens…

Unmet Expectation Levels, Wounds, and More Trouble

Well, if you find yourself all around fussity because of something someone did or didn’t do, chances are you’ve been wounded. A wound is mindset that prevents you from reaching the fullness of what you are supposed to be. If you don’t want your rockstar to crash, it is best to undergo a greater discernment to find a greater understanding of what you are dealing with. That way you can figure out what’s the matter. Maybe you’re the issue. Maybe they are the issue. Maybe it’s circumstance. Either way, you know FORGIVENESS is a great way to go to release that pain. Because with unreleased pain then it becomes part of the mindset.

Think about it like this…let’s say you’re in a dating relationship with someone. You REALLY like them and most of what they do but they don’t call you as often as they like. Do you let that person go because they aren’t doing everything they you want them to, or do you love them beyond their shortcomings? Of course some things you aren’t supposed to put up with, especially if they are behavior patterns. However, if you leave them over something like that, that you could forgive them for, and love them through…what next? Those feelings aren’t a light switch are they? And even if you move on to the next person, how will you react when you see your ex in the store, or the mall, or on the street. You may be civil but somewhere in your gut you feel sick a bit don’t you?

You know that saying it’s “cheaper to keep her”? Well that’s true the most in this regard (whether it be a girlfriend OR a boyfriend). Just not worth the drama You’re not over the last person so you can’t show how awesome you are to that new person…next thing you know you got three miserable folks.

Don’t do it, don’t be a doormat, but don’t be a relationship tyrant either!

Until next time!

New from @KingdomKid725: Are YOU Being Walked on?

Posted on by Team TRF
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[adsenseyu2]

Intro and Review

Hey everybody!

Last month around I put a lot of emphasis on this gold standard in regard to how you want to build a relationship. I put particular emphasis on those even the closest to you. However, before we go into that, let’s review.

Everyone you know will fall into one of these three categories:

1) Those who wish to do no more with you but exploit and abuse you for their own selfish gain.
2) Those who have your best interest but not the best data to convey their wishes.
3) Those connected to a higher standard and want to do right by you just because you are you.

Got it? Well think about it like this. If you have a co-worker that falls into category #1, you can distance yourself…and leave work at work (we’ll talk about that concept a little later). If you have some sort of casual acquaintance, or someone you’ve only known for a set amount of time, you can boot them on out of your business.

A New Quandary

Well, what if you have someone in Category #1, or even Category #2 and they are your homie? Or your BFF? Or worse yet, your mother or father?! Yes there are dysfunctional family dynamics out there, and left to themselves, those dynamics will only produce after themselves. Well, you know you have charge to live your own life, but you’re supposed to love your parents right?

So what the heck do you do?

Well, there’s a difference between servanthood and what I like to call “doormat’ism”. Servanthood is doing things for folks and putting your all into it because you want to see them become the best thing anybody’s ever seen with zero strings attached (this would make you a Category #3’er in their lives). “Doormat’ism” is when your entire life revolves around what they want.

I want to briefly talk about why this is BAD from two perspectives:

1) Anyone you date will be dating your family and NOT you. Don’t be that person who is apologizing for who you date. No you don’t want to be in a relationship with someone uncouth, but even if you are you don’t owe your parents/family an apology for that in of itself. Understand that it’s bad, get out, learn your lesson, and move on. Even your significant other is on the up and up (and they are a “Category #3’er”), sometimes your folks may not approve. In these cases, you gotta stand up and put your foot down. While this has to be in love, it does have to be. Otherwise….

You know cult followers? They “followed” someone too.

 

2) You deliberately follow short of that higher standard I keep yammering about. And I yammer on it because that higher standard works. Your mother, while she loves you, doesn’t know tomorrow today. Your dad, who may just want you prepared for the world, wasn’t around when the foundation of the world was laid. While they may know more than you practically, that doesn’t mean that (1) you’re no less an adult or (2) you have less access to the higher standard than they do. Get your own mind and be the best thing anyone’s ever seen. [adsenseyu7]

You don’t want to follow anything blindly but that higher standard to get to that commission that you’re here for.

Remember this, know what you follow, as sheep tend to get slaughtered. Will this kill you here? No, but you won’t be much of rockstar following any PERSON blindly either.

Until next time!