The Professor: Are Your “Peeps” Helping or Hurting?

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Welcome back folks!  Last time around I simply introduced the relationships concept to you….in case you didn’t remember, let’s just re-introduce the concept of a healthy relationship.

Let’s Bring Back Healthy Relationships

While we have defined relationships, a healthy relationship is a relationship where all parties are giving each other the love, attention, and respect in the spirit of friendship with no strings attached.  These are given for the sole reason that each person wants to see the other reach the full potential that they are supposed to have.  You know, to do this, you have to see their full potential from the perspective of that greater standard I spoke of last month.  Otherwise, you’ll get a preconceived idea of what they are supposed to look like, or worse than that, get deceived into believing they’ll never do any better.

Sounds like someone in your life?  Your significant other maybe?  Could be, but what about your mother?  Best friend?  Cousin? Co-worker?  Mentor?

Your “PeopleNet”

You know that saying, “You are the company you keep?”  Well it’s kind of true.  You can be the company you keep…depending on their influence level and their intent.  You can break people in your lives down into three basic categories:

1)    Those who are seeking to use/abuse/subdue you outright.

2)    Those who have your best interest but not the best data to convey their wishes.

3)    Those connected to a higher standard and want to do right by you just because you are you.

People in category one may not get awful close to you because you can see their manipulative ways coming, or after “X” amount of times you don’t want to deal with them.  You want as many folk in category number three as you can get; they have both the knowledge and the intent to be great resources to you.

I’m talking about people in category number two.  These folks are close to you but either give you wacky counsel or just weigh you down.  While people in category number three will help you and alleviate weight, people in category two will weigh you down with preconceptions.  If you twist my arm, we could bring in a fourth category, of the “serial dumpers”…those who just bring their issues to you over and over and over again.  Those folk annoy ya don’t they?

Well, the people you keep, positive or negative, I’d like to call the “PeopleNet”.  And they have potential to help or harm you in regard to finding a suitable mate or finding a suitable purpose.  For more information on “PeopleNets”, you can click this link.

“PeopleNets” and Significant Others

If your significant other gets close enough to you, the two of you get married and you become family, become one.  Right? Right.  Well the same can go with friends as well, or anyone in your life.  They can become (like) family.   And family become often like acquaintances.  Well if you have a dysfunctional dynamic with the folks around you, how marketable does that make you in relationships?  Not very?  Didn’t think so.  Even one dysfunctional relationship can dictate the pace of all the others if that person is close enough.


Ever take an argument with your mother or father to your friends or your significant other?  That target of your rage stops reacting to you don’t they?  Better to make sure folks are in the right category of person, right?


For next month: Consider this, there is a gold standard even for those closest to you.   And next week, we’ll talk about them.


Until next time….