3 Reasons People Lie to the Ones They Love [LATE NIGHTS WITH COACH STEPH]

Posted on September 16, 2013September 20, 2013 by Coach Steph

As a relationship advocate and relationship professional, I’m becoming increasingly annoyed by the lack of honesty in relationships. And, I am sure that you agree with me.

The worst offenders are those who lie in the name of love.

So, in true “Coach Steph” style, here are three reasons people lie to the ones that they love.

Reason one: they are wussies. Don’t be offended if this pertains to you, the truth is that it pertains to many human beings at one time or another. Periodically it seems easier to lie–by admission or omission–instead of to face the reality and speak the truth! Ultimately, we all need to man up (or woman up) and be people of true integrity.

Reason two: the truth will hurt the other person. Ummmmm duh! But a quickly discovered untruth hurts more. If we truly care about NOT hurting the people in our lives, then we have to be truthful. And, better yet, we have to make decisions that will not put us in the position where we feel lying is the solution to the dilemma. This includes: not going places you’ve both agreed to not go to; talking to people who may cause strife or confusion to enter your relationship (this goes double…err, triple if you are married.) You get the point…honor your relationship. If you can’t honor it, then let it go…now that’s the truth!

Reason three: the truth will rock your world! Sometimes we have to be honest, but in doing so, everything will have to change. This covers everything from having to start or stop a relationship, more specifically, cutting people off; to deleting numbers; to accepting that you and this person are now priority. So many times, this is the reason that the truth cannot come to light. And, that it doesn’t come to light. But, again, when you love someone…the truth has to take priority. The truth may change everything, but what’s the alternative? Living a lie is painful, and ultimately leads to undeniable unhappiness. Referring back to reason one…stop being a wussy.

Now, if you are guilty this is your chance for redemption…if you love, like, hate, resent, need, care for, or need to break up with someone…tell them, period. This game of lies and fallacies is for kids. Grownups should operate in total transparency at every opportunity. Time is not promised. How would you feel if someone you love didn’t know the truth? Would you regret not telling them? Would you wonder how things would have gone? If any of this matters, then stop with the excuses.

Let the truth set you free!

♥ Avoid bad relationships when you get FIRM. www.TheRelationshipFirm.com

Are you Doing the Wrong things trying to Get it Right?

Posted on May 21, 2012December 2, 2012 by Coach Steph

Trusting your intuition about men… why do women ignore the obvious warning signs of a man’s hurtful behavior? Why do women attract, fall in love and commit to men who are wrong for them? Why do women stay with a man who is without question so very bad for them?

How to KNOW if they like you?

Posted on May 14, 2012October 31, 2013 by Coach Steph

It’s an age-old question, asked by daters young and old. Driven by a desire to be with someone who genuinely cares for us, we find ourselves asking, “does he/she like me?”

Well, they might. (Wasn’t that profound?)

What you have to keep in mind, is that he or she may be asking the same questions about you. So, if in the event that you are too chcken to ask (it happens), here’s a few signs that might help you draw a conclusion. However, these signs are not foolproof, and at the end of the day, I highly recommend asking the individual. It may be a tad awkward to ask such a question, but rather you be a little uncomfortable now, then two months from now.

So, without further ado, here’s a few things to consider…and I hope this helps.

Considerations when you first meet them…

Are they attentive when you’re speaking?
Guys….did she give you her number when you asked?
Girls…did he ask for your number…and call?
Do they ask you questions about you?
This is pretty much all you need to know. If someone likes or is interested in you, then they want to get to know you. Guys always seem to miss this cue. If a woman is not asking questions about you, she’s not trying to get to know you. She may be polite enough to listen to you talk, but if she fails to inquire about you beyond your name, age, and occupation (vital stats, if you will), then that’s a sign. Take.
Do they seem comfortable* around you?
Squeemish could be nervousness, yes. But down right discomfort probably comes from looking for an exit door that is either not close enough or far enough that you’d notice. Especially for a woman, comfort is key to being with anyone.
Has the word date been mentioned?
And, if so, did they respond enthusiastically to the suggestion, or was it like winning a dollar from playing the lottery?

*Creating a comfortable environment may include: 1) Excluding your dirty jokes 2) Not discussing politics, religion, or any other possibly controversial topic. 3) Excluding numerous comments about their looks, beauty, body, job, income, SEX or anything else that would could be considered an questionable (this means you look like a stalker-in-training).

Considerations for the date…

Again, are they attentive?
Do they ask questions about you?
Do they seem comfortable?
AND one more…When you mention going out again, do they say yes?
While I realize that this may go without saying, there’s a little more to it. I legitimately mean, do they say without hesitation or any pause whatsoever, “YES!” After the yes, should come the plan. If she says yes, but there is no plan to meet you in an intimate setting–just the two of you–consider this case closed. If there’s a yes, and then she commits to a date, or to giving you a date, then you might have a shot.

While I realize that this article, may seem a bit cliche’ I also know that sometimes we need to be reminded of how dating works, and we need to understand that it’s not that serious (for the most part). We will like and dislike numerous people in our single lives, and the truth is, if they don’t like you, then keep moing forward until you cross the path of someone who does.

#bearockstar
#Love100