Update: This list will continue in a another installment. 😉
It’s no secret, television impacts our relationships. When shows like “Donna Reed”, and “Father Knows Best” blessed the airwaves, people wanted strong marriages, nice houses and picket fences. Even though we now know of the “Brady Bunch’s” off-screen antics, their saccharin-sweet show was a pioneer in showing people that a blended family could work. Then came the iconic “Cosby Show” a family that many Americans at that time could identify with–and most wanted to be like.
AND THEN IT ALL WENT DOWN HILL!
Unfortunately, there are new shows every season, and some of my favorites, display some of the most dysfunctional relationships ever. So, let me make it clear what doesn’t work by showing you at least three (although there are soooooooo many more) that should never be your relationship role models.
Up first…Carrie Bradshaw and “Mr. Big;” To this day, I watch Sex and the City and wonder why we thought this was a good idea. As the show progressed, we saw the pure dysfunction of this relationship, but since it ultimately ended in marriage, now many single women believe that if I just give it some time (even a decade), it will work out.
Why they cannot be your role models: Carrie and Big were never honest about their feelings. When situations arose, they were not dealt with in a mature manner. If you remember, the first wedding ceremony was cancelled because of how Big was feeling. This is not adult behavior. While smoothed over by placing the blame on a statement by Miranda and Carrie’s selfish Vogue article, know that in real life, this relationship is probably not viable long-term. No one has the time to constantly decipher what is going on with their mate. And, if you do…it might be time to call me.
Next…Meredith and Derrick: Grey’s Anatomy has kept us intrigued for quite some with these two and their shenanigans. Again, another dysfunctional relationship culminating with “I do.” Another example of a relationship that doesn’t work unless someone is yelling cut and there’s a team of writers in a back room.
Why they cannot be your role models: This relationship was built on sex. These people didn’t know a thing about each other. But, the sex endeared them to each other. If Meredith hadn’t slept with Derrick, (and these were real people), when she found out he was married, it probably would’ve been the end of the relationship.
Sex changes things, and usually it starts with your vision.
When you can see a relationship clearly, it cannot take over your life, and you stand a better chance of avoiding the “fustercluck” of it all.
I will save Scandal for another time–because some things go with saying…even if he is the President of the United States.
Lastly (for this part)…Tamara and Eddie: The way that reality TV has taken over our ability to think straight is horrific. But, to be fair, I have to give a bit of attention to one of the most dysfunctional relationships on our small screens. And, they too, are now married.
Why they cannot be your role models: Sadly, the foundation of this relationship doesn’t seem solid. Unlike the previous couples, these are real people, and from the beginning, there was utter confusion. Tamara chose to be with Eddie, instead of mourning the end of her marriage to Simon. Eddie never exposed his machismo side…until recently. Now, the reality (no pun intended) is setting in, and I am afraid that this marriage doesn’t have the strong foundation it needs to survive.
Ultimately, we should do our best to leave the sex out of our relationships until we know the person THOROUGHLY with their clothes on….or until he puts a ring on it (and not just an engagement ring). But, most people don’t want to hear or do that, so many are doomed to deal with real issues after the I do…and they might start to think that they don’t. Not only does the sex impact the relationship, but the inability to communicate difficulties or challenges is a red flag for your relationship’s future. Communication can make and break any relationship–and has. So, don’t be a victim. When someone shows you who they are, believe them (Maya Angelou).
But that’s all for now…back to your relationships…Coach Steph Has Spoken!