Celebrity Love Note No.3: Oh Jenny!

Posted on November 16, 2011December 2, 2012 by Coach Steph

So..today I am speaking “to” good ol’ Jenny from the Block…check it out!

My Take:
This whole marriage concept is totally out of hand. It seems as if Jennifer Lopez uses marriage to her advantage. The first mistake is using it to her advantage.

I don’t know if many of you know this, but a marriage is supposed to produce something positive in the world. Not just children, but actually greatness. Sum of you two, should be greater than your parts. So, to use it to your advantage, is not the correct use of the institution.

It is very irresponsible to continue to enter into a union that doesn’t last. At some point, you have to admit that it’s not all about them. You have some definitive fault in why these marriages aren’t working and going the distance. Are you choosing the wrong men? Is marriage just something you do? Do you love weddings? What is the problem because clearly, there is one.

Now that’s not to say that the individuals Jennifer marries are perfect. But, really did the Latino busboy (AKA Hubby Number One) stand a chance? That poor man was thrust from plastic runners to red carpets with a short period of time to adapt to the change, and when Jennifer’s career took off, eventually the marriage was left in the dust.

Some would say there is a pattern here.

If she were my client:
We would have to look very closely at these relationships before they were marriages, and explore why she thought this guy was husband material. After discovering that answer, I am pretty sure that we need to explore her expectations for a husband, and if they are realistic. We’ve all heard the stories of J-Lo’s outrageous performance riders, and perks for her entourage, it is possible that she asks outlandish things of her mate? Does she think it’s over if he misses a 10 p.m. curfew? Or if he doesn’t draw her bath at 81.3 degrees exactly? Of course, I am over exaggerating (at least I hope that I am), but if anything remotely similar exists then we need to nip these things in the bud.

I also want to explore her vision for a marital relationship. What are her beliefs about marriage founded upon? What role does she play in bringing the vision to pass? I will be whipping out all kinds of tools on Jenny from the Block…from Relationship Wheels to my beloved SWOT Analysis, I am going to work her until I get to the bottom of this nonsense.

What we can learn from all of this:
Marriage is not something to be taken lightly. Additionally, it is not something to be taken at all if we are not with someone we can see going old with. One of my favorite tweets reads, “people are not getting divorced because marriage doesn’t work; they are getting divorced because they never should’ve gotten married.”

Don’t be yet another person who engages in this new concept of marriage: the hobby. You have to realize that marriage goes back to the Garden of Eden. And if Adam can get over Eve talking to that snake and bringing him some bad fruit (with some pretty serious consequences), then we should be able to create marriages that last and overcome the challenges that two people inevitable will face when they say, “I do.”

Then again, maybe you adore Jennifer and see no problem with her getting married and getting divorced.

THIS JUST IN: I just read that it’s speculated that Marc Anthony and Jennifer’s divorce is over the educational plan for their twins—translation: what school the twins should go to?

Seriously?

Well, perhaps the fourth time is the charm.

Good luck, chica!

My Statement on Open Marriages (cont’d from Ebony.com)

Posted on November 7, 2011 by Coach Steph

Regarding “open marriages” there is no such thing. The liberties that we have taken with relationships, in general, is evident by the massive fail we are experiencing. We have settled for being babymamas and daddies, instead of waiting for committed relationships. We have redefined sex, so that it is has lost its Divine meaning, is now about conquests and power. We have built lives on the promise of being someone’s “wifey,” or live-in girlfriend, instead of believing that we are worthy of being “wives.” And now, we want to offer up marriage as yet another relational sacrificial lamb? We cannot. We have no right. The institution of marriage was established long before any of us even came into existence. Marriage is meant to stand as a testament to the commitment of two people to love, honor, cherish and submit to each other. If we are committed to each other, then we cannot have sex with other people, in the name of our marriage…and we should not accept such behavior in the name of our marriage.

It is my opinion that anyone who participates in an “open marriage” is openly stating that he or she lacks self-worth.

Bottom line: There is no such thing as an open marriage. Open marriage is simply dating—if it must be defined. And if you want to keep dating, keep the rings and the “I do’s” out of it, because it apparently is more than you are ready to handle.

You’re such a “Cheap Date!”

Posted on September 23, 2011 by Coach Steph

With our economic upturn playing and seek, many daters are looking for quick, easy and CHEAP ways to spend time with a potential signif (significant other).

Here are a few sites to help get you started on your quest for fiscally feasible romance:
Other sites for cheap date ideas…

Frugaldater.com
Citiesonthecheap.com
Niftydateideas.com
Askmen.com
Abcnews.go.com

5 Things You Should Have Ready Before You Post Online (by C.Ashbrook)

Posted on July 1, 2011 by Coach Steph

They say the devil is in the detail and that is certainly the case when you are creating your online dating profile. Most dating sites will ask you a series of questions about yourself, usually in the form of tick boxes or drop down menus to make it easy.

But I Don’t Wanna Date Online…Pouts

Posted on June 30, 2011 by Coach Steph

Note to Readers: Try something new. Signup now for a VIP Sneak Peek of a new relationship site…click here.

The truth is, many singles prefer the old fashioned way, they prefer to date people that they can actually see and can talk to in real life. However, the truth is, that contingent upon the site, you can find some very nice people that you will not find in your local bars and restaurants. Some are busy professionals that travel or just busy professionals. So, in the midst of the hustle and bustle, they’ve decided to use the internet to help them find the “love” or at least the intense like that they seek.

So, why not?

Objection Number One…”I think it’s embarassing.” Well, it is for some, and especially if they are half naked on a profile, but for most, they are not embarassed, they are cautiously optimistic, and if nothing else, they know that they have stepped out of their comfort zone. However, you can always hide your profile. Many services allow you to hide your information/profile and still navigate the site. This way, you can still feel as if you have an element of control and that you are not all out in the etherfor everyone to see. Now, one problem solved.

Objection Number Two…”How will I explain to my friends how we met?” Okay, okay, if even the thought of saying, “we met online” makes you cringe, then consider the following…around your third date, makeup a great story about how the two of you met…it will be tons of fun. Now, there needs to at least one person that knows the deal, especially if he turns out to be a dud (but that could happen offline, too), but if you don’t want to tell your friends and family, then don’t. My response, “I was playing around on the internet and ran into him,” it’s vague enough that people leave me alone, and for those that truly know the nerd that I am…they just say ok. After all, there’s linkedin, there’s twitter, there’s so many virtual “playgrounds” that I could’ve been in…so have a ball, and don’t let other’s opinions stop you.

Note to Readers: Try something new. Signup now for a VIP Sneak Peek of a new relationship site…click here.

Objection Number Three…”I hear that there are alot of losers online.” I hear that there are alot of losers EVERYWHERE. Look, odds are that if you can’t avoid the losers in the bar, then you can’t avoid them online; however, the great thing about them being online is that they have to advertise first. Now, his profile could be a complete lie; however…you could meet a guy/girl tomorrow and they tell you a complete lie as well…hey, it happens. But if you see photos you don’t agree with, poor grammar (and that’s one of my deal breakers), guess what…you don’t have to say a word, and they will none the wiser of your judgment.

Listen, there are pros and cons to dating online–just as there are for dating, period. If any other above are your objections, I hope I’ve given you just enough ammunition to push pass all of that rhetoric and to at least try an online site…If you don’t like it, delete your profile and write me a stern letter about the experience. But, perhaps you just might find someone and you can write me a letter about that, too.

Here’s to you…ONLINE!

Note to Readers: Try something new. Signup now for a VIP Sneak Peek of a new relationship site…click here.

To Free or Not To Free… (by Patsy Copus, retitled by WTL)

Posted on June 29, 2011April 13, 2017 by Team TRF

Your ready to start dating again, where do I find a perfect mate? What are the dangers of dating online? You need to know the basics and so that your experience is a good and safe one.

Online Dating – Get Ready! (By D. Collins)

Posted on June 28, 2011April 13, 2017 by Team TRF

You?ve decided to join the online dating world. Millions of singles do it ? why shouldn?t you. You sit down at the computer and fire up your search engine . . . that is where the trouble starts! How many dating sites are there?! With all these options how will you ever choose? It can be a bit intimidating! Here are a few tips to get you started:

Your Online Dating Profile SUCKS! (and here’s why…)

Posted on June 27, 2011 by Coach Steph

Note to Readers: Try something new. Signup now for a VIP Sneak Peek of a new relationship site…click here.

On June 12th, myself and my good friend The Dating Diva did a class on online dating and the do’s and dont’s for dating online. However, this class was very reserved and didn’t remotely touch on the things that I am about to say here. Because the truth is, some of you (yes, even you reading this) have some profiles that even your mother couldn’t love…Now this article is targeted to the guys, but it can be applied to the girls, so you are not safe…I am just not looking at you online.

Now, I know you want to know why that is…so here goes…

First: Your picture is ridiculous! Some of them are just down right attractive, but I’m talking to the ones of you, especially the males, that are sitting in your profile pic with your shirt off. Really, if that’s all you have to offer, then I am afraid that you have missed me, and a few other great girls with such behavior. We do not care about your washboard abs (at least not while we’re searching), and especially for someone over the age of 22, using such a picture says so much more about your character, or your lack thereof. So, in case no one has told you…let me be the first…put your *&%$ shirt back on!

Note to Readers: Try something new. Signup now for a VIP Sneak Peek of a new relationship site…click here.

Second: idk y iam single bcoz i am a good man. Seriously? Why are you writing in text-ese on your profile? Of course, you list your profession as a Systems Analyst or some other accomplished position; however you have failed to form complete sentences in something as simple as an online dating profile. You probably didn’t think it was a big deal, but it is. Anyone who is remotely interested in you and WORTH (emphasis on WORTH) your time will find this to be absolutely ridiculous! How is it that a grown, single man with a professional position (or so he stated) cannot communicate on an adult level. A piece of advice: Be formal in your communications until the relationship allows for you to be informal. Using bad English, horrible sentence structure, lowercase letters, and text-ese is the equivalent of showing up to your job 6 hours late. No one cares why you are that late, and at that point, they no longer want to hear the explanation.

Third: I promise this is the last one, event throu I could go on and on and on. TELL THE TRUTH! The last thing anyone wants to encounter is someone who is jobless or homeless, but has a profile with a job and a living situation listed that are not accurate…If you are in a position in your life where you cannot take care of yourself, then why are you looking for dates? You don’t need a date, you need a job and your own address, thus, your energies are best focused on achieving those things BEFORE you start looking for a woman to “complete” you (too much Jerry MacGuire), and another conversation entirely. I hate to say it guys, but if you can’t present your current situation as one that someone who be okay with, then you probably shouldn’t be presenting it at all—definitely not to get dates. Now there are some women that thrive on having a man that they can control and/or fix, but that’s not what you want. In the end, perhaps the reason why you are single is because you need the time to get your life together, and as such is the case, I speak for most when I say, now please remove your profile from all dating site—you’re not DATEABLE!

Okay, stepping off of my soapbox…

If after reading this your dating profile still sucks, then click here.

You need some Mee-Time!

Posted on June 8, 2011 by Coach Steph

Being single is hard…I blame, “being single.” -@MeetJuliet

That’s the truth, and sometimes you just need a break and you need to vent with people who truly understand, not the girlfriend that just got a new boo and everything is now coming up roses, daisies, and all the other flowers in the garden. This is why I created Mee-Time. MEE means “my explicit entertainment.” Because sometimes when you truly think about it…being single is entertaining. From the guys that try to get your number, to the girls that have moved in on the first date, there’s a lot of entertainment in dating.

But I won’t get going on and on, I will just say this: You deserve some MEE-Time and it’s happening tonight at 8:00 p.m. CST…Register here for the call-in information, pick your favorite bottle of wine, and dedicated a whole 60 minutes (yes, a whole 60 minutes) to YOU! We’ll have some special guests, too…so the night will be AMAAAAAAAAAAAZING! I promise!

See you soon!