If you’ve been contemplating online dating but haven’t taken the plunge yet, maybe it’s because you just aren’t sure if you’re ready for the world of cyber-dating.
Love and Dating Tips for Single Moms (by Ladi Lashkari)
As a single mother, you know there are some common questions about dating for single moms. Here we discuss two of the most popular questions that people wonder about…
More Than 140: Answering @FLUXXX1
This is the third, and last installment of the More Than 140 Series. New “twestie,” @fluxxx1 asks our final question:
“Does Open & Honest communication Make or Break a Relationship?
The Answer: Both contingent upon what we’re being open and honest about. If we’re open and honest about our feelings and our words leave the other feeling edified and excited about what was said, then we are making our relationship. If we are open and honest about things that leave each other feeling vulnerable and in despair, then we are breaking our relationship.
Of course, all communication in a relationship isn’t about the good in it, so it stands that there is always a fair amount of making and breaking; however, its the messages that are consistently communicated that determine the overall view of the relationship. Simply put, does the good we say outweigh the bad? When you reflect on your conversations, it is forever an argument or do you feel as if you discuss and resolve your issues and move forward? Are you making progress, or do you regress? How you answer these questions depend largely on how you feel after a little “come to Jesus” between you and your partner or spouse.
Our goal should always be to communicate in a way that leaves the other person better than they were before we had this interaction–even if we have to talk about things that aren’t all that wonderful. Try to speak in feeling statements instead of blaming statements. “I feel” leaved the receiver the opportunity to reply to your now vocalize issue, without feeling at fault. Fault causes defensiveness, and more often than not, defensiveness leads to arguments…but it doesn’t stop there. Arguments lead to hurt feelings, hurt feelings lead to vulnerability and vulnerability leads to faulty decision making, especially in the areas of fidelity (I think you get the point).
In conclusion, it’s not really what you communicate, but how you communicate that determine the outcome. In the future, attempt to vocalize, but not blame, and present everything in love. If you can master these things, your relationship will continue to evolve and hopefully satisfy you. If not, well…you got options, enough said.
Thanks for your question. 😉
More Than 140: Answering @Menlo5
Twitter bud, @Menlo5 asks:
“Whats is the best approach when involved with “Relationship Girl”? Her entire identity is wrapped up in the relationship. 24/7-365.”
The Answer: This is a hard one. The first issue is that this woman has no life, and didn’t have one before you met. So, if this is now becoming an issue, you have to ask yourself if you can get past this fact and continue to have a relationship, or is it time to go our separate ways. Unfortunately, I can’t answer that question for you, you have to answer it. But before you do, consider a few things:
- Why did you choose a woman who ultimately, didn’t bring her own world to your table?
- What expectations did you, if any, create that may have caused her to believe that this is the answer to making you happy?
- What would happen (and feel free to ask her), if you began to put distance between you and her, to allow her the time and opportunity to carve out a life for herself?
Some people are perfectly happy with a mate that is all about the relationship–for a while. In the end, most men and women usually find it easier to be with someone who has their own world, and who can contribute to the world that we create as a couple. But as for your question, there are some things that you have to consider before deciding how, or if to proceed.
Thanks for your question…keep me posted.
More Than 140: Answering @Attorney2be
This is the first of 3 questions, that I will answer from my buddies in Twitterville. @Attorney2be asks:
“How long should you date before getting married?”
The Answer: There is not really an exact timeline, but its moreso about what you’ve learned in the time you’ve been together. For example, if you have been together a year, but still don’t know where he works or what he does, then it’s probably not the best time to discuss getting married. By that same token, if its been 3 months and you know his name, social, his mother’s name (and have met her), you know where he works, his dream and aspirations, then it might be conceivable that this relationship could be nuptial-worthy.
Now, before you get excited about the short time period, let me be clear. You should at least be able to write a short narrative on the person that you’ve been dating exclusively. EXCLUSIVELY. If you’re not dating exclusively, then let’s get that part out of the way, before we start picking our wedding song.
Considering that the main dealbreakers for marriage are money, lifestyle, children and spirituality, it is highly recommended that you’ve had extensive conversations–to the point of resolution–and these might take away. My hope would be that you can explain and have a CLEAR (yes CLEAR) understanding of these issues between to the two of you before you move towards the aisle. For example, I am constantly appauled at the couple’s on Bravo’s Pregnant in Heels, who are about to have their first or even, gasp, their second or third child, and haven’t discussed their differences in religion–or how they want their children to be raised. Are you kidding me. We can’t be a Jewish-Muslim household who haven’t discussed our different spiritual methodologies until now. In fact, we shouldn’t be a Baptist-Pentecostal, Pentecostal-Catholic, or Baptist-Southern Baptist household until we have a clear understanding of our spirituality plays out in each other’s lives.
Bottom line, there should be some tough conversations that happen before we start picking bouquets, colors, or calling the minister (rabbi, pope, etc.) to start our pre-marital counseling classes. These conversations could take 3 months, or 3 years, but I admonish you to have answers to the tough questions, before you answer with a swift, “I do.”
Thanks for your question!
Top 10 Dating Tips for Singles (by Tonja Weimer)
Are you confused about dating? Would you like to find quality relationships but don’t know how? For tips to make you more attractive and more fulfilled as a single, read on.
How Would You Score in the Dating Olympics?
The XX Winter Olympic Games are in full swing in Torino, Italy, with athletes from around the globe vying to bring home the gold. Back at home, those in the dating game face equally stiff challenges ? the difficulty in meeting the “right” people, synchronizing overfilled calendars to schedule a date, and creating that medal-winning first impression.
Little Known Dating Tips, Secrets, and Dating Mistakes
I hear it over and over??It was going so great, and then she disappeared on me? why? What happened?we were having such a great time together. I?m tired of this happening?I want to date sexy women, …
Creating Your Vision For the Relationship You Want to Attract
What are 3 things you experienced in previous relationships that you definitely do not want in your next one? What are 3 things you remember fondly from previous relationships that you would love to experience again in your next one?