As a relationship advocate and relationship professional, I’m becoming increasingly annoyed by the lack of honesty in relationships. And, I am sure that you agree with me.
The worst offenders are those who lie in the name of love.
So, in true “Coach Steph” style, here are three reasons people lie to the ones that they love.
Reason one: they are wussies. Don’t be offended if this pertains to you, the truth is that it pertains to many human beings at one time or another. Periodically it seems easier to lie–by admission or omission–instead of to face the reality and speak the truth! Ultimately, we all need to man up (or woman up) and be people of true integrity.
Reason two: the truth will hurt the other person. Ummmmm duh! But a quickly discovered untruth hurts more. If we truly care about NOT hurting the people in our lives, then we have to be truthful. And, better yet, we have to make decisions that will not put us in the position where we feel lying is the solution to the dilemma. This includes: not going places you’ve both agreed to not go to; talking to people who may cause strife or confusion to enter your relationship (this goes double…err, triple if you are married.) You get the point…honor your relationship. If you can’t honor it, then let it go…now that’s the truth!
Reason three: the truth will rock your world! Sometimes we have to be honest, but in doing so, everything will have to change. This covers everything from having to start or stop a relationship, more specifically, cutting people off; to deleting numbers; to accepting that you and this person are now priority. So many times, this is the reason that the truth cannot come to light. And, that it doesn’t come to light. But, again, when you love someone…the truth has to take priority. The truth may change everything, but what’s the alternative? Living a lie is painful, and ultimately leads to undeniable unhappiness. Referring back to reason one…stop being a wussy.
Now, if you are guilty this is your chance for redemption…if you love, like, hate, resent, need, care for, or need to break up with someone…tell them, period. This game of lies and fallacies is for kids. Grownups should operate in total transparency at every opportunity. Time is not promised. How would you feel if someone you love didn’t know the truth? Would you regret not telling them? Would you wonder how things would have gone? If any of this matters, then stop with the excuses.
Let the truth set you free!
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